Wednesday, January 17, 2007

We always have a choice.

In life we made alot of choices, infact we make choices all the time. The fact that you are reading this, is also a choice you made.

When we have choices, we feels that we are more empowered and happy, we feels that we can choose what is more comfortable to ourselves. When we have no choice in something we do, we feels that the sky is falling down on us, unhappy, and demoralized. Some of us may even feel being victimized by the situation.

The power to choose influence deeply in our life, how we look at the world, how we react to the choice and most important of all, how ourselves are being treated by ourselves and the environment.

Yet, most of us do not understand that when we say we have no choice, we ARE actually making a choice. Most people just simply believes that when they have no choice, they in fact have no choice.

Here I would like to share something about choices we have when we say we have no choice.

We always like to say this "I have no choice, I have to ......". But is that really true? Not quite. Why? Ok, lets do it this way. Think of what consequences that may happen if you have to do A but you are not doing it. Therefore :

If I don't do A, I will B
If I don't do B, I will C
.
.
.
If I don't do y, I will Z.
Z being the worst possible scenario that could happened.

Then u ask your self.. Would you want Z to happen? Surely, no, right? So, You would rather do A than have Z. And there you go, you have just made a choice, and a good one. You still don't see it? YOU HAVE JUST CHOOSE A OVER Z.

Thus, when you say "I have to do it, I have no choice", you have in fact made a choice. And it was the best choice that you can made under that circumstances.

If you are able to think in this paradigm, you will always feel happy and empowered. Why? Simple, because you have a choice.

We always have a choice.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

What do you believe?

Definition of believe (verb)
to think; to feel sure of; to accept as true; to trust

What do you believe? A very simple question with a simple answer. And yet, most of us do not understand the significant role that our beliefs play throughout our life. A believe is not just a believe, but a mechanism that could eventually control us.

You do not believe in what I am saying? But why? What actually make you not to believe in me? Are you aware of why you choose not to believe me? Hmm.. your experience tell you so huh.. Well, was your experience a good one or a bad one, which made you you today? Think about it.

But, the truth is, you cannot prove the statement is wrong. Some people may still believe in what I am saying. So, your believe is not a universal fact. Cause if it is a fact, then everyone would have the same answer. Yet, you choose not to believe me, and risk losing a potentially good advice. Now, why? What is more important for you, a potentially good advice that may change your life, or losing your comfort zone of your past experience?

Isn't it irony, most people would rather risk loosing a potentially good opportunity, then stepping out of their comfort zones! Comfort zones that are based on ,believe, your past experience.

Well, this doesn't mean it is bad, but just something that we should be aware of all the times.

Yet, our believes are there for a reason, it is to protect us from being hurt. We simply believe that in such and such situations we will get hurt. Again, something we learned from past experince. And again, what we believe in may not be true at all, it is just something that we perceived. Not a universal fact.

So eventually, so to speak, our believes that trying to protect us from being "hurt" will become a fact for us. Because the more we believe in something, the more we are going to prove what we believe in is right, right? No body wants to believe in wrong things, do you? So, you starts to be critical, and search up and down for something just to prove yourself. In turn, you "forgot" to look at the big picture, you neglected the real message, you starts to stereotype, prejudge. You choose to see what you wanted to see.

Like the cycle of life, the little tiny piece of prove you found reinforces your believes. Day by day, it keeps on adding, until one day, your believes become so strong that it becomes a fact to you. And it roots in your subconscious, so that all your action regarding the believes become so instantanious, it becomes all automatic.

And that, my friend, is you now. You are what you believes in.

Are you aware of that now?

The cycle goes on and on, for eternity, unless you intervene. But that is another thought.